Date: 2018-01-11 03:21
Here’s the really encouraging news. You come back to that couple 75 years later, “Hey, how’s your love life?” What you discover is there’s this new kind of depth and maturity to their love life. Their level of satisfaction is on the rise. In the second half of marriage, a couple’s love life and these three ingredients increase significantly. Now, of course, some couples don’t make it that far and they’re missing out on the very best part of married life but on the second half of married life, the level of satisfaction literally begins to feel off the scale. Social scientists no longer have instruments to measure how happy these couples are. It’s incredible.
Finally, can you wait it out? Maybe he really is just saving up his pennies and has a plan in place. This is, as you already know, one of the biggest decisions out there and shouldn’t be done hastily. If you are prone to feel anxiety during ambiguous situations, it might just be that feeling getting the best of you. Sometimes the desire to get engaged drives women to think and do things that their more rational side would dismiss. Bringing up this topic might start the trouble you were hoping to avoid.
Those are the three ingredients of romantic love but the research didn’t stop there, just on the identifying the ingredients because here’s what’s important about this. The bottom line of all the research was to show that these ingredients are incredibly fluid. They’re not static. Love is to a static thing you fall into and you fall out of. Love changes. There’s an ebb and flow to it. There’s seasons to it. The love that you have today is not the kind of love you 8767 re going to have five years from now or five months from now or even five days from now because love changes. There’s a lot of fluidity to it.
Les Parrott : We had a couple a little while ago. They’re fighting about whether their cat was Zach or not. That’s a dumb fight.
HE is … Cliff , a contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.
On the other side of the triangle, you could write the word intimacy and this is the emotional side of love. While passion is biological, intimacy is emotional. This is about all the connectedness. We have things in common that we just go, “Oh, wow. Really? You too?” There’s that sense of intimacy that you give me and I give you like nobody else on the planet like, “Wow, you like sea swimming. You have some deep understanding of who I am.” It’s great to be known and it’s great to know another person that brings us together. That’s intimacy. We’re reading out the same sheet of music here.
Les Parrott : There are several things. One of the hallmarks of psychological well-being and health is self-awareness. You 8767 re aware of issues in your life that you need to be working on. The unhealthy person just goes around without any sense of their jaggedness, how they’re rubbing people the wrong way and how they’re interfacing with people in a non-productive fashion and so forth. Self-awareness is paramount. That’s why I always suggest if somebody wants to get serious about working on this, that they invite a mentor into their life, somebody that’s objective and has their best interest in mind that will serve as the proverbial mirror in front of them. That’s just one practical step.
If you are a cohabiting couple who has chosen to marry, the Catholic Church welcomes your decision to marry. Because cohabitation can have an effect on the marriage, couples are encouraged to explore certain questions with the pastoral minister who is preparing them for marriage. These include:
Brett McKay Fantastic. I guess an example of that unconscious role would be a man thinking, “Well, the way I show my love is just working hard and providing for my family.” There might be a woman who came from a family where her dad was very affectionate and spend a lot of time with their family. That’s what she’s expecting but he’s got the complete opposite expectation.
That’s why we always, when we’re doing premarital work with couples, we often work on how do you cultivate those ingredients with passion, intimacy and commitment? If you 8767 re waking up every morning after you get married and expecting all three of those ingredients to be at 65 out of 65, you 8767 re going to be totally disappointed because love doesn’t work that way. It takes a lot of attention in all three of those fronts.